presented by Avraham Hoffmann at the ICPA 16^th annual conference, Windhoek, Namibia October 2014

Let me start by telling you a few words about the Israeli Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority, of which I was the Director General for over 19 years, until I retired in 2002.

Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority[1]

The Israeli Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority is a state entity. It was founded in 1984[1], to deal with all prisoners: male and female, Jewish and Arab, single and married, as well as with their families. It is mandated to deal with prisoners’ rehabilitation 4 to 6 month preceding their release and in the community during the year following their release from prison. During the pre-release period an individual rehabilitation program is set with each prisoner. Participation is voluntary.

Introduction: The PRA’s obligation to treat the prisoners’ family.

Among the law’s (Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority Law, 5743-1983) stipulations, the PRA must work for the rehabilitation of former prisoners and their families and for the prevention of recidivism: In section 3.5, it is written, “There is hereby established a Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority, whose functions shall be – … to assist prisoners’ families during and after their imprisonment through the social service offices of local authorities and other bodies.”

The Triangular Program

I shall now refer to The Triangular Program designed to treat the prisoners’ families.
Before talking about the prisoners’ families, we must ask ourselves:

Who Are The Prisoners?      And   What Is Their Profile?

The average prisoner is an individual that has grown since childhood in the streets, in juvenile institutions, or in foster families.

Very young this child enters the delinquent world, he faces the police, and he is exposed to detention houses, closed institutions, drugs and violence. In many cases, he himself is a victim to violence in his family: physical, emotional or sexual, in some cases also incest.

What Is The Impact Of These Prioner’s Profile On Their Parenting?

Considering this profile, the prisoner becomes a father, in most cases, without having a positive example he could imitate. The education in institutions distorts the image he has of what a family should be like. Therefore the expectation that the prisoner should become a normative average father is groundless.

Approximately a third of the Israeli prisoners are family men. They have all together a few thousands of children. The population of drug addicted prisoners that are parents is a multi-problem population, often characterised by socio-economic distress and primary lacks. The return to community is traumatic for the prisoner and his family, no less than the incarceration itself. A family reunion with no preparation may be devastating and become a violent confrontation.

How Can We Overcome These Obstacles?

At first sight, the diagnosis looks very negative. However, observing this issue from the right angle, we could say that the incarceration crisis puts the family on a cross-roads, from which it can either chose the way to become ruined and devastated or the way to get rebuilt and healed. The Triangular Project is grounded on the attempt to find the right way to turn this crisis into a lever that rebuilds the family.

The Triangular Program combines 2 perceptions of the prisoners’ children:

1. Treating these children as a high-risk group that requires a specific attention to save the children.
2. Considering them as being able to enhance the prisoner’s rehabilitation.

The “Triangular program” was developed by the Israeli Prisoner Rehabilitation Authority in 1986. It emphasises the importance of saving the child, preventing him from behavioural digression, and acknowledges the crucial importance of the mother’s parenting skills to her children’s development and coping. While strengthening the father-child and prisoner-spouse bond that are crucial to the prisoner’s return home and successful rehabilitation.[2]

The “Triangular Program” is a holistic treatment for the prisoner and his family which is set up as follows:

1. The child: participates in the “students guide prisoners’ children” program;
2. The wife: Attends a self-help group;
3. The prisoner: undergoes a parenting program (pre and post release);

I will present you now the three angles of the Triangular Program separately, starting with the Children:

The Children

The child is the “hidden” victim of the father’s sins. Therefore, we should ensure that “if the father has eaten sour grapes the children’s teeth won’t set on edge.” The children should not be punished for their father’s sins.

The child loves his father. – How can he not love his way?

The child senses his mother’s weakness. – How can he not take advantage of it?

He feels betrayed and chased by his schoolmates. – How can we expect him not to run away to the streets and crime?

What Is The Impact Of The Father’s Incarceration On His Children?

When a parent is incarcerated, the child faces a period of great trauma. He must deal with the embarrassment and stigma of being told his father is a “crook”. There is even more tension in what most likely was a dysfunctional or abusive household to begin with. If the father was the breadwinner, the family may face impoverishment. The mother as a single parent may not have the time or emotional energy to deal adequately with the child’s needs.

As a result, emotions are bottled up, the child’s self-esteem plummets and school attendance and performance may suffer. The child may become withdrawn, depressed, or violent. All too often, he himself may perpetuate a cycle of drug abuse and crime begun by his father.

What Can We Do To Help This Child?

In 1986, recognising the need to help these children, the PRA started running a program called the “Big Brothers” for Prisoners’ Children in Jerusalem and Be’er Sheva, with 33 children. This year, there are 540 children (and 540 students) participating in the project throughout Israel.

The program consists of University students that are paired up as “Big Brothers” or “Sisters” with a prisoner’s child (between 5 and 14 years old). They meet twice a week at the child’s home – for about 2 hours each time. Together they learn, play, go to movies, talk, and form a bond. Approximately once a month, the student accompanies the child to visit his incarcerated parent.

The students are referred to the program, and guided throughout their participation by the Universities Social Involvement Units. The students, on their part, gain an enriching experience in social involvement and a scholarship that covers about 50% of their university tuition.

Through contact with a student – the future elite of Israel – the child’s self-esteem is gradually returned. He now has a connection with a positive adult figure and role model. In the student, he finds an outlet for his emotions, and a sympathetic ear for his problems. He is not alone. The student presents for the child, both an authority figure and a friend. Together they engage in interesting activities, which the child would otherwise miss because the mother is either busy or unaware of the need and importance of such activities. The visits to prison are made a regular activity. They are now less frightening, and there is often less tension when the student is there.

Early on in the project’s history, it became evident that an unanticipated by-product of the program was the positive effect, which it was having on the incarcerated parent. The father’s behaviour in prison improved. His self-esteem as a parent was strengthened. He became more involved in the child’s welfare. Moreover, the child’s participation in the project established a connection between the prisoner and the PRA, and often led the prisoner to join a PRA program.

Furthermore, it is interesting to note that the student plays an important role also for the prisoner’s spouse. She is less tense, knowing that a responsible adult is involved in the child’s life. For those parents who are estranged from the incarcerated parent, knowing someone else is accompanying the child to the prison-visits is a relief. In addition, very often the student, with advice from his supervisors, can recommend to the mother various social services’ programs, and other forms of help, of which she may not be aware.

The student is not a social worker, his attitude is not threatening, and as a friend of the child he can be a “bridge” or connection between the family and the society and the social agencies.

The Children’s Program Cannot Stand Alone.

The mothers’ support group and their approval of their children participation in the children’s program are crucial for the success of the program.

The Mothers – The Wives

Most of the mothers are, indeed not criminals, but coming from marginal populations. They actually have the same background as the prisoners In many cases, due to family pressures, an immature love or an unplanned pregnancy becomes a marriage.

What Is The Impact Of The Father’s Incarceration On His Wife?

Apart from the problems the prisoners suffer from, during incarceration and after, their wives and children have many difficulties dealing with the new situation, emotionally and concretely.

The prisoner’s wife undergoes tremendous changes in her life style. She finds herself in a new and stressful situation. She is exposed to many pressures during her husband’s incarceration:

• From a personality in the “shade”, she becomes overnight the central pivot of her family. She must be a mother and a father to her children. She has to take care of the children and the household on her own.
• She has to deal with legal and economic problems:
• She has to struggle for the family income. The financial situation of the family worsens. The family used to live on the fruits of sins and thefts of the husband and the wife did not work. In the absence of the main and most often the only wage earner. She has to manage with only one salary or with financial aid from the National Insurance
• The creditors are coming to her to collect the debts her husband has left and the lawyers demand their wages.
• Very often, in middle class populations the mother’s own-family and husband’s family are refusing any contact. The society, as well, tends to flee her and her children. She has to confront personal pressures and anxieties, and make tremendous efforts not to cut social relationships.

• She has to keep in contact with the husband-father and maintain his involvement in the family life. She has to function as head of a single-parent family, while the husband or his family’s control over her life is still felt. In this respect, the expression used to describe these women as single-parents is inappropriate, since the prisoner tries to continue to rule his family by remote control. And in fact, in every decision she makes her husband participates, either practically or in her thoughts.

What Are The Main Needs Of These Women?

As a result of their husband’s incarceration they are confronted with a new situation. Precisely, when they face this crisis, they find themselves without a support system. The shame and stigma prevent them from turning to professional help.

Practically, they often need help in finding a job and possibly vocational training, since in most cases they have never worked before.  

These women are in dire need of support and help. They need other women with whom to share their anxieties, or to consult with. These women are isolated from society and need to acquire tools and skills to be able to deal with their situation:

How Can We Help These Women?

Strengthening and empowering these women, through a support group and with a professional staff’s help, enable them to overcome the incarceration crisis and progress.

The Prisoners’ Wives Program is intended to do that. Its main goals are:

1. Strengthen the women during their husbands’ incarceration, by legitimising emotions that come along with the situation, and by giving them the opportunity to express the feeling they have toward their husband due to their incarceration.
2. Treat the prisoners’ contact with their family, and ensure their successful return home. This is done also by clarifying the roles in the family after the husbands release from prison and return home.
3. Help them find a job and receive vocational training when needed.

The temptation not to work is great, since these women receive state financial aid during their husbands’ incarceration. But going out to work and providing for themselves and their children is of crucial importance. It improves their self-esteem, their children’s respect, and allows them to build their lives with their husbands from a stand point that is closer to equality than before, by reducing the gaps.

• Provide these women with tools that will help them deal with their children. Especially, in a situation of a single-parent family and stigma.
• Provide these women with tools to deal with social agencies. Improving the mutual relations between the women and the different institutions and organisations.
• Teach them how to make positive use of their leisure time.

The 5 first points are dealt with through the prisoners’ wives groups. That begins with hesitant steps that strengthen and deepens with time.[3]
These meetings deal with:

1. Problems of raising children.
2. Assertiveness.
3. Law and justice.
4. Violence and family.
5. Women’s rights.

This program puts the woman in the centre, giving her the opportunity to meet with her feelings, wishes and needs and exposes her to different ways of dealing with them.
To strengthen the woman and increase her self-awareness promotes her rehabilitation and consequently her entire family’s rehabilitation.

The Prisoners: Fathers – Husbands

Treating only the child and mother would augment the gap between them and the incarcerated parent to a point where it is too big to bridge. To avoid this danger, the PRA has developed several programs adapted to the different needs and problems prisoners have as husbands and as fathers.

Due to the objective difficulties – the separation caused by the multiple incarcerations of the fathers – they have a difficulty in conducting proper parental relations. Some of the prisoners’ families’ common characteristics are:

Background related characteristic

1. A multi generational history of distress.
2. Poor education.
3. History of family violence.

Family situation related characteristic

• Addiction symptoms of different types.
• Multi-problems family.
• Divorce.
• Employment instability of the family members.
• Financial distress and radical financial changes.
• Distrust and anger toward the establishment.
• Many and continued assistance needs – also after the father’s release from prison.

Parenting related characteristic

1. Double standards from the father and mother towards the children.
2. Irregular family routine.
3. Long absence of the father from the children’s lives.
4. A demanding family with broken limits.
5. Poor living skills.
6. Multiple family secrets.

What Is The Prisoners Interest To Participate In These Programs?

And How Can A Crisis Become The Foundation Of A Building?

Three facts are important in transforming this crisis into a positive foundation:

I. The incarceration proves to the father-prisoner that in fact he is left alone without his “friends” that might help him. His family is the only one that stays loyal to him during his incarceration. As a result, if in the past he used to neglect his family and deal with crime, he starts seeing between the bars the only light that in fact comes from his family, and essentially from his children.

II. One of the motivations to change his ways is the need to win his children’s love, because he is afraid his child will grow apart while incarcerated.

III. The incarceration weakens the feeling of omnipotence the prisoners used to have, and teaches them to see their real situation straightforward.

But precisely when the will exists, the knowledge and guidance are missing. Therefore the failure increases and along with it the frustration. Therefore this reality is a big challenge for educators and therapists.

What Guidance Does The Program Offer?

The Fathers-Prisoners Parenting Group Training Program, starting during incarceration and continuing after the release from prison[4], was developed to bridge over this vulnerable suture. The target population being: prisoners, drug free, who have children under 18. The purpose of this program is to teach them theoretically and practically how to behave with their children, how to deal with the problems the separation has created, and how to use the existing community services.

Parenting is seen as a learnt function and, in no way just a biological one. The fathers’ group emphasises the prisoner as an integral part of the family, and thus strengthens their sense of belonging.

A set of meetings was conducted by trainers from the Parenting School of the Adler Institute. Each group has 12 weekly meetings of 2 hours each, and is intended for 10-15 participants.

The Adler method supports establishing “democratic” family relations, based upon co-operation and mutual respect between parents and children. Contrary to relations based upon power and authority and obedience exigency. Contrary to the “omnipotent” and “know all” authoritative parent, the democratic parent allows himself to look imperfect and show his need for help or advice. Turning to the child for help and suggestion in itself strengthen his positive self-esteem. The relations of mutual consulting between parents and children will replace a relation of “explanations”, claims, arguments, pressures, criticism, reproaching and preaching. The guidance is intended to help the parents to learn how to allow their children to take responsibility, think and behave independently and develop a strong social feeling, in a relaxed homey environment.

Most prisoners are not familiar with democracy; if they are it is usually with a negative attitude. Is it possibile to change their perception?

Differently from behaviouristic therapy, this program works on changing the cognitive perceptions of the prisoner and former prisoner. The basic principles being the “democracy” and “tolerance” – two (2) cognitive elements that must be nurtured otherwise the method is worthless.

The prisoners this program is intended for, lack any experience and example of democracy or tolerance. On the contrary, as criminals they experienced a “dictatorial” surrounding. They have developed a need for immediate results – in material aspects such as money and drugs, as well as in human interactions. To rehabilitate, prisoners must learn to overcome their impatience and how to relate democratically with others. By learning how to interact, raise and educate their children they learn also to rehabilitate and integrate the normative society.

Results: In general the findings point to the development of a more “democratic” and tolerant perception of parenthood.

Using the Adlerian theory of “active parenting”, they learn of the ways to become involved in taking decision, of the meeting points between them and their children, of the beneficial aspect of leisure hours and, how to become involved with the child’s schooling, etc.

They learn to improve their communication with their wives and children, and acquire the skills to function as fathers and husbands, including the responsibility to take care of the children and run the household.

 Another new aspect of this fathers’ group program, is the acknowledgement that the wives’ participation from its beginning is of crucial importance.

Subjects emphasized in the courses: the Adlerian theory addresses a wide range of issues of parenting and inter-family relations. However the meeting in the different groups managed to discuss most of the main issues of Adler’s theory, but at different levels and different emphasis. Some major subjects that were dealt with in the groups are:

General life skills related issues:

• Caring, consulting and seeking help.
• Acquaintance with the psychological service.

Family related issues:

• Parental authority; rules and limits in the family = Setting limits.
• The couple in the family = Family setting.
• Parents’ and children’s responsibilities.
• Parents’ contribution to the home’s atmosphere and children’s behaviour.
• Decision making in the family.

Parenting related issues

• Sibling rivalries.
• Children’s development stages and needs.
• Over protectiveness; spoiling.
• The needs of children and parents in the family – possible conflict.
• Punishment and alternatives to punishment.
• Natural and logical results = Educational methods.
• Dealing with anger.
• Respect and acceptance. Encouragement.
• Secrets.
• Belonging; mistaken ways of belonging.

The Residential Hostel

One of the means to help prisoners who are former drug addicts, and for whom the return to society is hard, is the Residential Hostel, which offers a transitional stage between prison and the return to society.

Another family concern – domestic violent men

In Israel in recent years the concern and treatment of domestic violence has increased. As a result of police and community programs, many cases of domestic violence – that were previously hidden from public eyes – have been unveiled. The severe courts sentencing, has brought about a significant increase in the number of prisoners incarcerated due to domestic violence.

Approximately 500 prisoners in Israel are incarcerated for violence toward their wives and children. They represent approximately 10% of the prisoners. They represent a very problematic group. Beside their violence they suffer of drug or alcohol addictions. For them the return home after imprisonment is traumatic. Their wives have learnt to cope on their own and fulfil the functions the prisoners had previously performed as fathers and husbands.

The difficulties are more complex when violence problems are involved. The wives do not feel the urge to co-operate with their husbands’ therapy, since the physical threat is removed by their incarceration.

Nevertheless, we must assume that most of the violent prisoners will eventually go back to their families. And they go back even more furious – as they were sent to jail because of their wives. Consequently, in most cases, if nothing is done, the violence will increase. Therefore there is a dire need for a transitional stage that allows monitoring these prisoners before they return home, without endangering their wives and children, while preparing him for a successful return to his family.

How do we cope with domestic violence?

To solve this problem of violence and traumatic transition, the PRA has developed a new program:

The Residential Hostel for Former Prisoners Who Were Incarcerated For Violent Behaviour toward Their Families.

The Hostel represents a transitional place, where the released prisoner starts dealing with his gradual return to his family and with an intensive professional supervision.

12 released prisoners stay in the Hostel for a period of 6 months, during which they participate, in an intensive therapy emphasising on the ways to overcome the violence problem and deal with the co-dependency they have with their wives. They learn to improve their communication with their wives and children, and acquire the skills to function as fathers and husbands, including their responsibility to take care of the children and run the household.

The wives take part in the therapy. Their participation increases gradually as their husbands’ therapy progresses. The husband visitations at home increase gradually. During the year following their return home to their family, they receive support from the Hostel’s social worker.

As in all PRA rehabilitation programs, and particularly in the different residential hostels for released prisoners, the residents must work or attend vocational training as a condition for their participation in the program. Work being a part of the normative life style they must learn.

CONCLUSIONS

The “Triangle Program” I have presented to you is a successful tentative done in the State of Israel in dealing with the prisoner’s family as a whole. It is based on the principle that the investment’s real value is only partial, although blessed in itself, if an activity is offered only to one part of the family is, without an overall perception. When we speak of a holistic program, findings show that less children have been placed in homes for children, less have been involved in crime, and more children have completed their education. Therefore from the economical and essential aspects of the problem, as well as the chances of the prisoner’s family to be successfully rehabilitated, holistic programs must be developed, whose results are far better and promising.

I know that some people are reluctant of this program for executive or professional reasons. However, the good results this combination shows prove the efforts are worthwhile. One of Israel’s wise men said: The whole world is a narrow bridge and it is essential not to be afraid to ascend this bridge. Both the practitioners and their patients are afraid to ascend this narrow bridge, since courage is needed for rehabilitation. Those who know how to walk on this narrow bridge without getting dizzy and without losing hope are the ones who help the prisoners reach the other side. They will become the bridge between the world of crime and the general society.

To conclude I would like to refer to King David who defined in his Psalms, chapter 128 the goals of the rehabilitation of released prisoner:

1. “If you eat the toil of your hands, you are praiseworthy, and it is good for you.” In other words: You, who have been used to eat from others hard work will learn to enjoy working and will benefit from the fruits of your own work.
2. But rehabilitation without a family therapy and an appropriate rehabilitation of the released prisoner relationship with his spouse and with his children – only half work is done. Therefore: “Your wife will be as a fruitful vine in the innermost parts of your house; your sons will be like olive shoots around your table.”
3. You must learn to deal with the work and work place, and then says King David you will be blessed by heaven: “May the Lord bless you from Zion, and see the good of Jerusalem all the days of your life. And may you see children [born] to your children, [and see] peace upon Israel“

My hope is that we all will have this courage, and that together we will build a bridge of hope.

---

[1] The PRA offers every released prisoners an equal chance to a successful rehabilitation, by developing programs to fulfill the special needs of the different populations. Participation is voluntary.
We believe rehabilitation is the start of a perpetual struggle, with no end or limits, in which a man stands alone in a struggle with him. The Authority’s philosophy is that there is no person who cannot be rehabilitated, and that everyone has a right to a new beginning. However, it should be recognised that not everyone has the power and ability to achieve the same heights, and that the jumping-off point differs from person to person. Hence, measuring rehabilitation from a solely statistical standpoint implies reducing the value of a human being to an insignificant number. In spite of this conception, and maybe by virtue of this belief, 81% of the prisoners that joint the PRA‘s programs are successfully rehabilitated – they do not use drugs or commit crimes – as opposed to 30% among those that did not participate in rehabilitation programs.

[2] A third of the prisoners who return to prison, have pointed out that the reason for their re-incarceration, was their failure to reunite with their close family, provoking their despair and unwillingness to rehabilitate.

[3] During the first meetings, wishing to hide their “monstrous” secret, suspiciousness and examination of each other and the guide is felt among the women. The bond starts around the concrete problems of women sharing a common fate. Eventually the growing intimacy leads to openness and mutual support. They become aware of their suppressed and denied feelings (such as: anger, depression, guilt and shame), of their right to an independent existence, needs and wishes and, how to deal with them and seek help.
The issues raised include marriage, sadness, family, children and sex. They learn to accept the fact they are prisoners’ spouses. By learning to support each other, the group becomes very united while  each woman progresses individually.

[4] Rotem Sha’er, Therapy in a punishment environment: The experiences of prisoners from the drug detoxification and therapy process within Prison (Jerusalem: Hebrew University, 2003). Sha’er discusses rehabilitation of drug dependent prisoners.
The released prisoners, interviewed for this research, perceive the therapy in prison as a primary therapy stage and theoretical in essence, that enables the drug addicted prisoners to acknowledge their dependence and start a primary therapeutic relationship. However, to strengthen and preserve their new way after their release, a continued therapy is needed, to help them overcome the difficulties they will encounter during the process of integrating the normative society, especially in face of the numerous external stimuli and provocations.
Researchers  have questioned whether prisoners can rehabilitate. A survey of researches that examined the situation of prisoners who completed therapy in prison, found that the most positive results were achieved by prisoners that attended therapy during a long period, as well as prisoners that continued their therapy in the community after their release from prison.